PRIVACY NOTICE: Varning - any person German or otherwise and/or institutionalised and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure, including but not limited to the Government of Pakistan, Dubai or Vietnam and/or any such country where internet is available (except for Egypt), also using or monitoring/using this website and/or any of its associated websites - except for Twitter, we don’t care about Twitter, you do NOT (be aware of the capitalised NOT) have my permission to utilise any of my cat photos, photos of my breakfast/lunch or dinners, photos of my baby taken at every given opportunity when he/she does something so ADORABLE and/or any such photo pertaining to my drunken behaviour on the weekend.
You do not have permission to copy/paste my witty jokes, and/or my passive aggressive, vaguely worded status updates when I’m feeling “upset” or “down” and/or any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to the comments made about my photos, funny or otherwise and/or any other “shirtless pictures” of me pouting alone in a bathroom mirror that I’ve taken with my iPhone or someone else’s iPhone, posted on my profile or on my pages. You do not have permission to share my checkins at the gym, expensive restaurants or any such venue that I and/or anyone in my “friends” list might deem to be cool.
You are hereby notified that you are SO strictly prohibited (I’m warning you!) from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. These restrictions that I’ve just made public to all the people in my “friends” list also apply to every single human being or animal that walks this earth including but not limited to your employee, agent, student, cousins, parents, siblings, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives, pets (dog or cat or fish or guinea pig) or any other personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential, and the violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law because I said so in this very long and useless status update.
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